March 21, 2018

May Day




Sexy After Cancer, Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, spring love rituals and cancer, breast cacncer, cancer and sexula health, cancer and intimacy, intimacy after breast cancer, fertility and breast cancer

When I was in my last year of college, I went home to visit my parents. I sat in my mother’s kitchen that morning, drinking tea and chatting with her as she cooked something wonderful. What a treat to be home, do some laundry and eat some good food!

The phone rang. I was sitting beside it so I answered.


“Hooray, hooray, the first of May. Outdoor fu…ing starts today!” said a deep male voice.

“Uh, excuse me?” I said in a shocked voice, thinking it was a crank call.


“No, this is Barbara.”

“Barbie?!?  Let me talk to your mother please.”

Shocked, I handed the phone to my mother and left the room. She later told me that she and my Dad were friends with another couple, and this was their annual late spring joke. I remember being horrified at the idea of my parents doing the deed. Perhaps this was the beginning of why I later became a sex educator.

Every year after that, it was a playful thing to call Mom or Dad and say the rhyme and we’d all laugh. As my parents divorced and went their separate ways, I continued the tradition. Dad is now nearly 90 and the other day on the first of May I called him and said the rhyme. He laughed and said he still loves thinking of the spring mating season.

The urge to mate is in all of us, no matter our age or physical situation. Even with breast cancer and the impact of treatments on our bodies, hearts and minds, our bodies still contain this ancient primal urge. You may not think so, but it’s there, even if it’s gone to sleep.

This May Day weekend remember the urge to mate. Recall it in your mind and let yourself daydream about it. Perhaps it feels like a distant memory, perhaps it’s present in this moment. However you experience it, give yourself over to the idea. May Day, the May Pole, Beltane, and ancient Celtic fertility rites were all celebrations and rituals to honor the fertility of the earth and create a bountiful crop. It’s said that on May Day, men and women went out into the fields in the moonlight and made love to make the earth more fertile.

How can you nourish fertility in your life? It doesn’t need to be about reproductive fertility. Perhaps there’s something you want to gestate and birth related to your intimate and sexual health. What might that be?

A wonderful way to encourage intimate and sexual health to grow is to imagine and visualize yourself being intimate and sexual, however you define them. In your mind’s eye see yourself engaged in intimate activities; see yourself making love, kissing, or whatever brings you pleasure. If you allow yourself to go fully into the images, you will experience pleasure. The brain doesn’t distinguish between what we’re actually experiencing and what we’re thinking. This is the beauty of imagery and visualization. Let this be a part of your journey of breast cancer and sexual health!

Hooray, hooray, the first of May. May your pleasure start today!


© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
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This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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