April 26, 2018

Cancer, Sexuality and Your Brain = Good Surprises


Cancer treatments change our bodies in surprising and unexpected ways. One that often goes unmentioned is change to intimacy and sexuality. Treatments can decimate libido along with hormones. Suddenly things don’t work the same as before. It can feel like a robust sexual life is a dim memory with little hope of revival.This is the tie to begin to use your biggest sex organ ~ your BRAIN! What ?!? You may be thinking that your brain doesn’t play much of a role in your sex life. Actually, it’s the driver of the bus. Don’t believe me about how powerful it is? Your brain doesn’t distinguish between what is actually happening and what it thinks. Here’s a little experiment you can do to prove this to yourself:  sit comfortably, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to calm and relax your body. As you breathe, gently draw your attention inward as the sounds around you fade and you relax. Then imagine that you are holding ½ of a juicy cut lemon in your hand. See the bright yellow color of it, sniff the citrus scent and feel the roughness of the peel. Bring the lemon to your lips and take a bite and suck the juice…. Feel the juice in your mouth and flowing down your throat.

What happened?  Did your mouth and lips pucker up with the sensation of the tart lemon juice? Did you start to salivate? Open your eyes and see if you are actually holding a lemon in your hand. Probably not, but you had the visceral response to sucking a lemon. I rest my case about the power of your brain.

You can also use your brain to stimulate your intimate and sexual pleasure. You may be familiar with fantasy, which is one form of using your brain to create images and experiences. If you’ve read my book, you may have listened to the downloaded MP3 about kissing. Here are some other ways to use your brain:

  • What would it be like to think you just had the greatest sex right now? What is that energy like for you?  Carry yourself with the real result of this thought in your body and emotions today.  Notice how it feels in your body, mind and heart as you go about your day.
  • Just before you go to sleep, ask to have an erotic dream… you may remember it or you may wake up with a feeling of relaxation and satisfaction in your body. Enjoy it.
  • Cultivate this feeling of both healthy and abundant sexual energy all the time.  Sex comes in many colors, shapes, and sizes and at many levels.  Know that – regardless of past or present circumstances -the deepest part of you is a healthy sexual being.

Using your brain is a powerful and healing way to find your way to enhanced intimacy and sexuality. It’s simply a matter of learning how to use it. Experiment with these suggestions or in other ways that appeal to you. The important thing is that you do it regularly. Habit is what will help, and regular practice creates new habits, just like beginning a new exercise program.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

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