December 15, 2017

The Third Tool

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Continuing with the 10 Tools and Power Tools for Bringing Back Your Sexy After Cancer:

#3. Change the Station

Screen Shot 2013-03-15 at 11.40.04 AMOur minds run a constant barrage of thoughts, judgments, criticisms and opinions, most of them subconscious. Research shows that we humans think an average of 60,000 thoughts per day, and that only 5-10% of them are conscious. The rest are repetitive, often negative and can prevent our growth or evolution. Some people call this the inner critic ~ that voice that may be now saying, “Critic? What voice? Not me!” Personally I have an inner board of naysayers!

Most of these thoughts were absorbed when we were little, before we were able to filter out what was true and what wasn’t. Children are like little sponges and pick up everything, internalize it and make it “the truth.” Then we think that this is just the way life is. These are thoughts like,

“You’re too fat, too skinny, ugly, not pretty enough, not good enough…”
“You’ll never amount to anything so don’t even try.”
“You get what you deserve.”

On and on the thoughts go. When breast cancer comes into the picture, all our unconscious beliefs about cancer, breasts, beauty, sexiness, femininity and worthiness come up loud and clear. It’s very easy to begin to feel like “damaged goods” or somehow not attractive or less than a woman.

Consciously working with and changing our thoughts is a big part of healing, especially about who we are as gorgeous and sexy women. I call this changing the station. The ongoing stream of judgment and criticism is like a nonstop radio station playing in our head, the station with the call letters K-FUK ~ all criticism all the time. The idea is to consciously create a new station with the call letters K-LUV ~ all love all the time.

How to do this? Begin by becoming conscious of the steady stream of disempowering or negative thoughts. Every time you become aware of one, literally stop, breathe and think a loving thought. It could be something like

“I love you (your name)”
“You are beautiful.”
“My body is my temple and I adore my temple.

Intention and repetition are the keys to this. What you are doing is creating a new neural pathway in your brain. Over time you will succeed and you will notice that the overall quality of your thoughts changes. As with the mirror practices, as you love yourself more and know that you are gorgeous and desirable, that’s what you will feel inside and project into the world.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

The Second Tool

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Continuing with the 10 Tools and Power Tools for Bringing Back Your Sexy After Cancer:

#2. Forgiveness. I’ve heard it said that forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better yesterday. What this means to me is that what has happened cannot be changed, so there’s not much value in hanging on to any pain, fear, judgment or blame associated with it. Easier said than done though, right?

What’s there for you to forgive? Nothing, you say? Here are a few ideas:

  • Your body for getting cancer
  • Your doctors for altering or removing body parts or giving other treatments that have radically changed your body
  • Your breast/s for how they look now
  • God or whatever spiritual principals you follow that would allow such a thing to happen to you
  • Yourself
  • Anything else that comes to mind

There are many forgiveness practices. I recently interviewed Marianne Williamson (author of many NYTimes best selling books including “A Woman’s Worth”, “Return to Love”, “Everyday Grace”). She is a student of A Course in Miracles, which is a powerful spiritual program. She said that forgiveness is the foundation for spiritual health and is a form of spiritual medicine. It is every bit as important that we take our spiritual medicine as the medicine prescribed by our doctor. Yet many of us don’t do this.

A forgiveness practice is a wonderful way to begin. The key is to find one that appeals to you and then to use it. One that I like is a Ho’oponopono chant for forgiveness:

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The tradition is to play some soft background music and then repeat the words like a chant. Repeat it as many times as feels right to you.

You may find that as you begin this or another practice, that other areas for forgiveness rise to the surface of your awareness. Respect your inner knowing about what you need in this area.

Remember that forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you undertake this practice. May it bring you some inner peace!

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

What is Eroticism?

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Here’s a provocative thought from Audre Lorde:  “We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.”

With this context, eroticism invites us to deliberately seek pleasure in an exotic land that emerges through the synergy between you and your partner before, during and after lovemaking. Lovemaking may not mean the same thing to you now as it did before your cancer diagnosis. In my view, this is an extraordinary opportunity to explore intimacy, sexuality and the erotic anew.

Begin your exploration with a conscious commitment to venture into this new unknown with your loved one, trusting your hearts and souls to be your guide. When trust and vulnerability are the foundations of intimacy and sex, you and your partner can resonate as one, creating a mystical third, we. Stay open and fluid and watch your erotic connection take you where it will as it deepens and takes different forms as you explore and grow together.

An important part of aspiring to eroticism means challenging your limiting beliefs about your life force energy, about your perceived inadequacies, about the courage it takes to begin in intimate, erotic sexual journey as you are NOW, changed by cancer. Be a gentle and tender warrior as you venture into the erotic landscape of your lover’s body to learn about yourselves and your erogenous zones together. Give up control and serve each other as you invite contact with the depths of your life force energy.  Use all your senses ~ sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing ~ as you explore, and you may discover new delights and treasures as you journey together. Have no expectations, make no assumptions, and let the mood, inspiration and movement of the moment guide you in this new territory.

What are you discovering about yourself, about your beloved, about the mystical third, the we of you? When you allow this kind of exploration with no agenda, no constraints and the intention only to flow with your life force energy, what happens for you?  Happy voyaging!

From January 14-25 I hosted the Go Forth and Thrive After Cancer telesummit. Each day there were 2 interviews with experts on various aspects of what it takes to thrive and evolve after cancer comes into your life. I talked with people like Marianne Williamson, the NY Times best selling author and mystic; our own Molly MacDonald about TPF; Emmett Miller, the father of body-mind medicine and guided imagery, and many more. It’s free and you can listen to the recordings until the end of February. To listen in, click here to register:  www.cancertelesummit.com.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Do you adore you?

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Adoration comes from the Latin adōrātiō, meaning “to give homage or worship to someone or something.” If worship means to adore, to take in, to treat with the utmost respect or to hold in the highest esteem, then we should all hold ourselves in that consciousness. And, truthfully, when we don’t adore ourselves or treat ourselves with maximum respect, we will attract others who don’t treat us well.

Dare to adore yourself! Find a way to define adoration for yourself and see if worship flows as an expression of your adoration. Take a leap and let yourself feel what it’s like to adore you. Who knows?

In my view, this can be a result of the Mirror Practices described in my November 3 blog post. Take a look back to refresh your memory if you’ve forgotten. Do the practice again and as you look into your eyes, say, “I adore you (and your name).” As you do this, look with adoration, with utmost respect and highest esteem ~ for you.

We’ve all seen the electrifying adoration when a parent looks at their infant, drinking in the child’s essence, beauty, mystery, and fragility all at once.  Sometimes lovers gaze similarly into each other’s eyes as if the entire cosmos rested there.  The power of this kind of attraction touches us at the core of our being; our very humanity comes alive as if we’re seeing our own selves anew or for the first time.

For the remainder of the month, practice adoring yourself. Let yourself adore you because you are so worth it! I’d love to know your experience with this deeper mirror practice, so feel free to comment below.

From January 14-25 I’m hosting the Go Forth and Thrive After Cancer telesummit. Each day there will be 2 interviews with experts on various aspects of what it takes to thrive and evolve after cancer comes into your life. I’ll be talking with people like Marianne Williamson, the NY Times best selling author and mystic; our own Molly MacDonald about TPF; Gary Malkin, Emmy-award winning composer about music as medicine for the heart, and many more. It’s free! To listen in, click here to register:  www.cancertelesummit.com.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

New Year’s Opportunities

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Now that the holidays have passed and 2013 is upon us, it’s a great time to think about what you want in your intimate and sexual life for this year. Along with using the mind to create pleasure, it’s also powerful to create intentions. I’m not talking about a To-Do list or putting pressure on yourself; rather, this is about letting yourself imagine what you’d like for yourself this year.

Here’s a ritual I do at the beginning of each year ~ I do this in many areas of my life, and for today, we’ll shine the light on matters of intimacy and sexuality ~

Take an hour or so, when you have some time to yourself. Make a cup of tea or some other drink you like and sit in a comfy chair with pen and paper. You can light a candle if you like, or play some soft background music. As you settle in, take some deep breaths and gently close your eyes. Relax and turn your awareness to your body and what brings you pleasure, specifically intimate pleasure… let your mind take you where it will and “see” what’s there. Perhaps it’s taking long baths with your sweetheart, or giving each other sensual massages, or looking into each other’s eyes and breathing as you feel you hearts and souls connect in the absence of words. Maybe you see you in some sexy lingerie dancing a sexy dance, being flirted with across the room at a party…. Whatever is there, let the visions and feelings come.

Open your eyes and jot down some notes about what brings you pleasure. More may come as you’re writing, so write it all down.

Then imagine that it’s December 31, 2013. What has this year brought to you in terms of intimacy and sexuality? What did you learn? How did you grow? Did you try some new things? Did you have fun?

Write yourself a letter dated 12/31/13. Write about what happened for you intimately and sexually during the year. Let your mind, heart and body take the lead  here and write as much as wants to come onto the paper.

Then put the letter away for safekeeping. Giving yourself this gift of time to dream and imagine is a great way to create a vision for what’s possible. Have fun with this and know that this is just for you.

I am offering a *f*r*e*e* ticket for a couple to attend the Feb 8-10 Sexy After Cancer Couples Retreat in San Francisco. This is a $995 value! If you’d like to enter the contest, go to www.sexyaftercancer.com/freeretreat/. Enter your name and email address and send us a brief email telling us why you’d like to attend. That’s it! Enter by January 10 because we will draw the winner on January 11. Maybe it’s you!

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Cancer, Sexuality and Your Brain = Good Surprises

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Cancer treatments change our bodies in surprising and unexpected ways. One that often goes unmentioned is change to intimacy and sexuality. Treatments can decimate libido along with hormones. Suddenly things don’t work the same as before. It can feel like a robust sexual life is a dim memory with little hope of revival.This is the tie to begin to use your biggest sex organ ~ your BRAIN! What ?!? You may be thinking that your brain doesn’t play much of a role in your sex life. Actually, it’s the driver of the bus. Don’t believe me about how powerful it is? Your brain doesn’t distinguish between what is actually happening and what it thinks. Here’s a little experiment you can do to prove this to yourself:  sit comfortably, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to calm and relax your body. As you breathe, gently draw your attention inward as the sounds around you fade and you relax. Then imagine that you are holding ½ of a juicy cut lemon in your hand. See the bright yellow color of it, sniff the citrus scent and feel the roughness of the peel. Bring the lemon to your lips and take a bite and suck the juice…. Feel the juice in your mouth and flowing down your throat.

What happened?  Did your mouth and lips pucker up with the sensation of the tart lemon juice? Did you start to salivate? Open your eyes and see if you are actually holding a lemon in your hand. Probably not, but you had the visceral response to sucking a lemon. I rest my case about the power of your brain.

You can also use your brain to stimulate your intimate and sexual pleasure. You may be familiar with fantasy, which is one form of using your brain to create images and experiences. If you’ve read my book, you may have listened to the downloaded MP3 about kissing. Here are some other ways to use your brain:

  • What would it be like to think you just had the greatest sex right now? What is that energy like for you?  Carry yourself with the real result of this thought in your body and emotions today.  Notice how it feels in your body, mind and heart as you go about your day.
  • Just before you go to sleep, ask to have an erotic dream… you may remember it or you may wake up with a feeling of relaxation and satisfaction in your body. Enjoy it.
  • Cultivate this feeling of both healthy and abundant sexual energy all the time.  Sex comes in many colors, shapes, and sizes and at many levels.  Know that – regardless of past or present circumstances -the deepest part of you is a healthy sexual being.

Using your brain is a powerful and healing way to find your way to enhanced intimacy and sexuality. It’s simply a matter of learning how to use it. Experiment with these suggestions or in other ways that appeal to you. The important thing is that you do it regularly. Habit is what will help, and regular practice creates new habits, just like beginning a new exercise program.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Intimacy and Sexual Energy Part 2

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Last time you experimented with gazing into your sweetheart’s eyes and breathing together. Taking the time to slow down and really “be with” each other can be magical. Let’s take it a step further…

Make some time when you can be together and relax. Play some soft background music if you like, or light a candle. Agree that this is a time for sacred energy exchange and that your intention is to be intimate, close and loving.

Sit facing each other with your heads are about 12-18 inches apart, whatever distance feels right to see each other clearly and feel close and intimate. Look into each other’s eyes, hold hands and take several deep breaths together as you begin to relax. As you sit and gaze and breathe, notice your heart opening. After several deep breaths, one of you ask for permission to gently stroke your sweetheart’s face by saying something like, “May I stroke your face, honey?” When they say yes, gently reach out both hands and begin to gently stroke their face. The intention of your touch is to convey your love to your sweetheart. It’s not about massage or erotic touch but rather simple kindness and love. As you stroke their face, notice the different textures to their skin, how different their lips feel from their eyebrows and so on. Be curious and tenderly explore their face. If they wear glasses, ask if you can remove them so that you can stroke their entire face.  This may feel a bit awkward at first because we don’t usually touch each other in this way ~ usually touch is a prelude to sex. This is touch with no agenda other than kindness and intimacy.

As you receive this loving touch, relax, breathe and know that you deserve to be loved and touched like this.  Allow yourself to drink in the nourishment of this tender touch and let it fill that place in you that yearns to be touched.

After a few minutes, gently switch so that the one who was stroking now receives the loving touch of the other. Ask permission to stroke your sweetie’s face, and then gently caress their face.

After a few minutes, both of you cup your partner’s face in your hands and look into each other’s eyes and breathe together. As you look into their eyes, look for the innocent little one, the wise one, the tender one, and the one who might feel awkward or afraid. Make room for all the facets that you see and continue to look and breathe. After several breaths, complete the touch with a gentle kiss on their forehead.

Close your eyes and take a moment to reflect on what you just experienced. Did you like it? Was it uncomfortable? Was it easier for you to give by stroking or to receive, or about the same? What are your feelings? Open your eyes and take a few minutes to share your experience. As you speak, be open and truthful, knowing that your sweetheart will do the same. As you listen, open your heart as well as your ears. When you’ve finished speaking, hug each other and thank each other for this tender time of connecting.

When we’re kind with each other, the doors to intimacy open wide. Try this face stroking a few times a week for the rest of the month and see what, if anything, opens up between you.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

INTIMACY and SEXUAL ENERGY

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Where exactly does *s * e * x* start and * s * e * x* end? Is it the moment you take your clothes off? Is it when you perform one of your favorite sex acts? Is it penetration — is that sex? Does it end at climax, orgasm or fluid exchange? We all have a sexual energy within that manifests in our world in many ways. Our experience of our sexual energy can change dramatically with breast cancer, as we wonder about our desirability and attractiveness.

During and after cancer treatments many people experience deprivation when it comes to healthy sexual energy. Whether or not you’re having sex is not the real question. The real question is how you are experiencing the depth and preciousness of connection to your life force energy, whether alone or with a lover.

Try on the idea that ~ S ~ E ~ X ~ is really

• Sacred Energy Exchange

OR

• Sensual Energy Exchange

As well as

• Sexual Energy Exchange

We all want to feel deeply seen, loved and “gotten” for the essence of who we are. We want to feel loved. And we often think the best way to have that experience has to do with something that happens in our genitals. Yes, of course it’s possible to experience intimacy and pleasure in our body during sexual play. If what we really want is deep intimacy and connection, let’s expand the horizon to include sacred and sensual energy exchange. This is especially important if your body doesn’t work in the same ways as before cancer.

How to do that?

Try this with your sweetheart: first, agree that this will be a special time and that you will be gentle and kind with yourself and with each other. Light a candle or play some soft background music if you like. Sit facing each other so that your heads are about 12-18 inches apart. Look into each other’s eyes, hold hands and take several deep breaths together as you continue to look into each other’s eyes. As you sit and gaze and breathe, notice your experience. It may feel a bit awkward at first, but stick with it. Then notice whether your heart feels more open; whether you can feel an exchange of love and energy between your hearts; whether you can see into their soul. You’ve heard the adage that the eyes are the windows to the soul. As you sit, really look into your partner’s eyes, as if your heart had eyes to see through. At the same time, allow yourself to relax and be seen, as your partner gazes into your soul through your eyes.

After a few minutes, close your eyes and do an internal check of your experience and feelings. Then open your eyes and take a couple minutes each to share your experience. Listen to each other with kindness, curiosity and love.

Cultivating the practice of being together in this way can create a new kind of intimacy that you didn’t imagine possible, and it only takes a few minutes.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Sexiness ~ Putting it All Together Adds up to Sexy You!

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Now that you have a better idea of the ingredients of what sexy is to you, how do you go about cultivating yours?  Other than what’s been discussed, what are the elements of sexiness that ring true for you? What does your deep inner wisdom know about this?

Here are some practices to begin cultivating your personal Sexiness Strategy. Feel free to use any that resonate with you, to ignore those that don’t, and to add any that come to mind. You get to create this in the perfect way for you.

  1. Make a list of what you love about you and what is solid and consistent about you.
  2. Determine what’s important to you and what’s not at this point in your life to reveal your truths and convictions.
  3. Decide to embody and live by your truths and convictions without ever having to speak about them to anyone else.
  4. Look into your eyes in the mirror and see the light in your eyes. If you don’t see it or feel it immediately, do the mirror practices described in an earlier blog, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall” from November 3.
  5. Make your Love Jar: take a pad of paper or a stack of index cards. Begin with at least 20. On each one, write one thing that you love about yourself or believe about you in a positive way. It could be things like “I love my generosity of spirit”, “I love that I see the goodness in every person I encounter”, “I love my sense of hope,” and so on. Without editing the list, just keep going until you have written at least 20 things that you love about you. Once you have completed the list, review it and notice how you feel as you read each statement. Do you feel rock solid about it? If not, could you with a little more belief in you? Do you need to change the words to make it feel rock solid? If so, do it.

Put the statements in a “love jar” that you decorate in whatever way you wish. Every day, pull out one of the statements and make it a practice to “be” that for the day.

  1. Begin to train your thoughts to align with the belief that you are sexy and desirable, on your terms. When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, consciously choose to think about what you love about you. Over time, as you strengthen this way of thinking, you may notice that people are drawn to you, want to be around you, feel seen and accepted by you.
  2. Remember that sexy has nothing to do with showing your breasts or coming on to others in an artificial way. It’s all about your confidence – belief in your personal qualities and things you love about yourself, embodying your principles and beliefs without needing anyone else to conform to your beliefs, being in integrity with who you know yourself to be, and the twinkle in your eye and energy that radiates from you when you live this way.

Once you’ve created your own Sexiness Strategy, take action. Simply thinking about this won’t change a thing. Do something daily and before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to knowing that you are sexy and desirable. Congratulations! Please comment here or send me an email ~ I’d love to know your experience with this!

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Sexiness part 3…

The good news is that confidence can be cultivated.

But are all confident people sexy? No. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of individuals who inspire sureness without stirring any sort of desire in you. There are many whose confidence I admire, even look up to, but they’re just not sexy to me. Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Warren Buffet, for example, inspire great confidence in me, but sexy? Not in several lifetimes. Even so, confidence is an essential ingredient to the alchemical formula.

Many confident adults have struggled to find and nurture a belief in themselves. This is part of our process of maturation and individuation, how we come to know, understand and believe in ourselves. It’s a heroic journey, and one we can undertake many times in our lives as things change and what once seemed solid and secure, shifts and moves.

We can look at others and see that they seem to have it all together. Yet we are only seeing them from the outside in. And we experience the world and ourselves from the inside out. The truth is that we’re all in this process of self-definition and awareness.

When a breast cancer diagnosis is added to this mix, it’s easy to feel like the rug has been pulled out from under your feet. We may feel betrayed by your body, drive yourself crazy in an attempt to figure out how and why you got cancer, live in fear of the return of cancer, and not so sure of who you are. These are all possible reactions to having cancer. And this can completely shake your self-confidence to the point that you feel insecure in the most basic ways. Suddenly you can’t count on things you could count on before, like your health or how your body functions. Coming face to face with your mortality has a big impact on your confidence.

Strange as it may seem, this is a very powerful opportunity to look at what’s important about who you are and what’s not so important. It’s a time when you can literally create new beliefs about life, now that life, as you’ve known it, has been threatened. Suddenly, you know that life isn’t a dress rehearsal. It may be the first time you have faced your own mortality. Given that, how do you choose to live your life?

You may be familiar with this poem:

Dance like nobody’s watching;
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Sing like nobody’s listening
Live like it’s heaven on earth.

~ Mark Twain

Since no one gets out of life alive, why not create the life you’ve always wanted to live? Why not decide that you are confident? That you can be, and are, sexy and desirable? Who’s going to say you’re not? If you believe it about yourself, that’s what you will transmit to the world, and you’ll be experienced that way. I know, this sounds hokey. But this is the way it works. Really.

Creating confidence starts with your beliefs about you. Here’s a way to being this inventory:  take a pad of paper or a stack of index cards. Begin with at least 20. On each one, write one thing that you love about yourself or believe about you in a positive way. It could be things like “I love my generosity of spirit”, “I love that I see the goodness in every person I encounter”, “I love my sense of hope,” and so on. Without editing the list, just keep going until you have written at least 20 things that you love about you. Once you have completed the list, review it and notice how you feel as you read each statement. Do you feel rock solid about it? If not, could you with a little more belief in you? Do you need to change the words to make it feel rock solid? If so, do it.

You can continue to add to this inventory. I keep mine in a “love jar” that I have decorated and it sits on my desk. Every day, I pull out one of the statements and make it a practice to “be” that for the day. Try this practice to increase your love for you and your confidence, and to makes you t solid and consistent in these qualities. It’s not wishful thinking; it becomes your belief system ands Truth.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers.  It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind.  Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.