December 15, 2017

Getting Your Sexy Back with Breast Cancer

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays blog, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Dear Friends,

I’ve just completed an hour-long show with Breast Friends, all about body image and self-esteem, loss of sensation as a result of lumpectomy and radiation or mastectomy, how chemo and hormonal therapies impact libido, how to get your sexy back and much more. We covered many bases in an honest and real conversation. I’m including the link here so that you can listen to the conversation because it was that good! Please feel free to download and listen at your convenience, and feel free to share it. It’s full of solutions to many of the challenges to sexual function that happen as a result of cancer treatments.

Do yourself a favor and educate yourself about your own body and pleasure. Most of us didn’t have good sex education early on and weren’t taught about pleasure. There is so much pleasure to be experienced and cancer is a great opportunity to learn about that.

Sexy After Cancer?

If you have questions or comments, ask them here and I’ll respond as quickly as I can.

 

© 2016 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

My Favorite Lubes for Cancer, Sexuality, Menopause and Vaginal Dryness

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

 

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays Blog, Cancer and Sexuality, Intimacy After Cancer

Let’s Talk About Cancer, Sex and Lubes

Last weekend I was at a cancer conference and a colleague presented about lubricants for use by cancer patients and survivors. There was some good information given and some wrong information given. I shared that there’s an article about lubricants on my website www.sexyaftercancer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Guidlines-for-Selecting-Lubricants.pdf.

Check out the article. It talks about ingredients to avoid in lubricants, how to choose a lubricant and has a chart about several different lubes including pH, intended use, and safety with latex, and rubber.

Please do NOT use Replens. Many health care providers recommend it, and it contains Purified Water, Glycerin, Mineral Oil, Polycarbophil, Carbomer 934P, Hydrogenated Palm Oil Glyceride, Sorbic Acid, Methylparaben, Sodium Hydroxide. Glycerin may injure kidneys at high concentrations per OSHA; Carbomer 934P is manufactured using benzene. Methylparaben has suspected estrogenic effects; sodium hydroxide is another term for lye. This product is questionable for vaginal use and widely prescribed. You have many much better options. Read on!

People asked me about my recommendations and I have several, listed here in no particular order:

  • I love Sex Butter! This product is formulated using plant-based oils and there’s something about it that really works for me. When I use this with a partner and we take the time to thoroughly apply and massage it into my tissues and “warm me up”, I really enjoy penetrative sex play with NO pain. This is a big deal and I am a shameless poster girl for this product. Using Sex Butter regularly has helped to heal my vaginal dryness and tenderness.

I invite you to try it out. Here’s my affiliate link, if you use this I will gratefully receive a small commission.

Http://tinyurl.com/sexbutter

The only caveat with this product is that it’s not for use with latex, rubber or plastic toys because of the oils. If you try this product, let me know how you like it, and you will be supporting a good friend’s business.

  • Sliquid Organics Botanically Infused is another favorite choice. This lube is a moisturizing lube, which means that it aids in returning moisture to vulvar and vaginal tissue. Many women experience vaginal dryness and atrophy as a result of cancer treatments (chemo and hormonal therapies especially). This product is latex, rubber and plastic friendly. I use it daily externally and internally to keep my tissues moist and soft. I use it right along with Sex Butter.
  • Aloe Cadabra has organic aloe vera as the main ingredient. The high concentration of aloe makes it soothing. This one is also latex, rubber and plastic friendly.
  • Almost Naked Personal Lubricant by Good Clean Love contains 95% organic and natural ingredients. It’s also latex, rubber and plastic friendly. The only thing I don’t like about this product is that it gets a little too sticky after about 15 minutes. For me, this can cause some friction that doesn’t feel good. I can remedy this with a little spray bottle of water, but that can get a bit messy. If you like water sports, that may not be an issue for you.
  • Sliquid Silk Intimate Hybrid Lubricant contains vegan ingredients and also some silicone. Silicone makes tissues slippery, which can be a big benefit with penetrative sex play. This product is formulated to provide moisture and then to seal in the moisture with the silicone.

If you find this helpful, please share it with others. And let me know your experience and also what products you like. I’m always researching for great new information to share and your experience is a big help with this.

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Astrologically we are in a period of lots of action ~ eclipses, full moon, the equinox and Mercury retrograde, to name a few. During the season of eclipses, things can change in big ways, rapidly. If you knew you could wave a magic wand and change something big about your heart and your capacity to love, what would you change? How can you love you more? How can  you bring more love to the world?

Our experience of love blossoms from our love relationship with ourselves. How do you love you? Are you madly in love with you? Do you have a crush on you? Do you know how gorgeous and lovable you are? If  you aren’t having these experiences, what would it take for you to have them? Maybe, just maybe, it starts with deciding that you do. And then acting as if it’s true. Don’t believe me? I invite you to try it on and see what happens. Let your heart shift completely in the eclipse! And here’s a poem to inspire you.
“And You Shall Love”

do you love yourself?

yes, but
do you love yourself?
not like a poor relation, with an
effort to be kind.  being good about it.

do you love yourself
like the most hopeless crush you ever had?
the day you wrote his initials
all over your notebook:
mr. and mrs.  glowingly divine?

do you love yourself like
Rumi loved his God?
do you love yourself stumbling
and giddy, burbling visions of wine-drunk
spiritual ecstasies?

do you love yourself
so hard it hurts to breathe,
so true the very thought of losing you
makes you ache and cry?

do you love yourself
with dirty fingernails
and all you’ve got,
hanging on, for dear life?

do you love yourself as you rise up,
as you lie down, and as you go about your way?

would you die,
if you didn’t have you?

have you woken, yet,
from that awful dream,
the recursive bargain of self-hate
you made to stay alive?
is this the deal-breaker?

the angel abides
until one day
your will abides no more:
from out of nowhere you could name
the unleashed heart of fire ascends
and you are joined.

as full of scars
as grace.

“beloved”
a voice is heard;
the voice is yours.

(this time it is the angel’s turn
to laugh; even God’s hidden name
prances and smiles)

Dvorah Simon

 

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Make Love to Your Skin!

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Many things change in unexpected ways when cancer is in your story, including your skin. It’s time to take the next step into loving yourself and creating deeper intimacy and love, and it begins with loving your skin. Stan in front of the mirror, looking into your eyes, knowing that you are your lover for life. Say, “I love you” as you look into your eyes. Then begin to gently stroke your face, exploring your skin and what feels good and brings you pleasure. You have lots of nerve endings in your fingertips and in your skin, so get curious and get to know your skin. As you touch your face, notice what feels good and what doesn’t. What type of touch brings you the most pleasure? Is it strokes as light and soft and butterfly wings, light raking with your fingernails, firmer touch, little taps, or something else? Experiment and get to know yourself now. Check out the video below for some ideas, and please feel free to share what you discover. Wishing you a Sexy Saturday!

 

I love your comments and feedback, so please let me know if this tool is useful for you.

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

 

Step One ~ Find Your Life Force Energy

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Dear Ones,

Your life force energy is the key to reclaiming your intimate and sexual life after cancer has come in. Do you know what it is and how to find it and tune in to the power of it? It’s an internal flame inside that is always there, but sometimes we think we’ve lost it. Watch this video to learn a quick and powerful way to find and tune in to your life force energy.

 

I love your comments and feedback, so please let me know if this tool is useful for you.

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Be Your Own Best Valentine Today and Every Day!

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Beyond the Hallmark Holiday that Valentine’s Day is, this is an opportunity to explore loving yourself more deeply. We all want to feel more loved more of the time, so let today inspire you to begin that journey. How do you like to be loved? Answer this question and then give that love to YOU! No one else can love you like you can because you know exactly what you want and need, and how to give it. So be generous with you, begin a new love affair with you. And then see what happens in your heart and in your life.

 

 

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Cancer and Energetic Sex

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

 

If you haven’t heard of energetic sex, it’s not what you may be thinking! It’s not about acrobatics and feeling like a pretzel, although you may feel quite softened by the experience as well as energized. Energetic sex is about knowing that we have a larger energy body that includes out physical body, and is much more than that. It’s subtle and worth exploring. This video talks about a way to have energetic sex. This is a great practice, especially if you experience physical challenges as a result of cancer treatments, are in treatment or have other physical challenges. There’s no reason to stop intimate and erotic pleasure, and this is a fabulous way to continue to enjoy your sexual life.

 

 

I urge you to experiment with this practice and share your experiences. We all learn from each other on this journey!

 

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer

Sexy Saturdays Swan Song

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, Sexy After Cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and libido, breast cancer and sexual pleasure

 

 

Sexy Saturdays, Sexy After Cancer, Barbara Musser, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and libido, breast cancer and sexual pleasure

 

My Dear Friends,

It’s been almost 2 years since the birth of the Sexy Saturdays blog, nearly 100 posts. I hope that you’ve found value, inspiration and hope in these columns. It’s time that you know how beautiful, desirable and sexy you are! My passion for your joy and pleasure is endless and you have inspired me to explore new possibilities. Of course I have tested every tip and tool to make sure it works ~ I am one grateful, happy, satisfied and awake sexual woman!

TPF is maturing and becoming more focused on their mission of providing financial support and education for those in active breast cancer treatment. This clarity of focus will reflect in the focus of blogs that appear on the site and the focus is more on the financial aspects of the breast cancer experience than on intimacy and sexual health. Sexy Saturdays™ is moving to a new home. This blog will continue on my website www.sexyaftercancer.com/blog. Please click through now to see my inaugural video blog and a bit about the new vision I have.

I hope that you will make the move with me to Sexy After Cancer and continue to read and follow my chronicles for pleasure, intimacy and sexual health. The new video blogs are yet another format to entice you and enhance your pleasure.

It’s been a great adventure writing this blog! There is so much that I have learned and want to share in this emerging conversation about breast cancer and sexual health and intimacy! I also blog for ~

Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine (http://www.breastcancerwellness.org/category/inspire/)

Women’s Survivors Alliance online magazine (http://theplum.org/category/between-the-ears/sex-you-bet/)

Breast Cancer Answers (http://www.breastcanceranswers.com/nurture-sexuality/#.U7xGHqiZ440).

The conversation about breast cancer, intimacy, sexual health, body image and relationships is timely and needed. I’m passionate about providing resources and since I’ve been on this journey personally for 25 years, I understand it.

If you’d like to get in touch with me, work with me, book me for a speaking engagement, or attend a retreat, here’s how ~

Lots of ways to stay connected. I hope you will. There are many different phases to the breast cancer journey and each brings its own joys, challenges and growth opportunities. My belief is that how we feel about ourselves and come into and nourish our inner and outer integrity shapes our journey and experiences. Here’s to you and knowing that you are beautiful, desirable, sexy and that with the ingredients, you can create a happy and satisfying intimate and sexual life after breast cancer.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Sexy Saturdays Sensual Strawberries

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality

 

Welcome to the new home for Sexy Saturdays! I’ve written this blog for the past 2 years for TPF and am now moving it here. I will soon move the archived blogs, nearly 100 messages filled with tips, tools, inspirations and pure pleasure. Video blogs are now part of the mix as well and here is the inaugural video!  May you discover endless ways to enhance your intimate and sexual life now that breast cancer is in the mix. My passion is for exploring sex after breast cancer, desire, intimacy, sensuality and pleasure!  Join me on this wonderful evolving journey into what it takes to wake up a sleepy libido and to open the doors for women, cancer and sexuality and create your Personal Pleasure Plan.

 

 

Your comments are welcome as well as any subject you’d like me to include in the blog. My vision is to make this a juicy place to explore the intersection of cancer and pleasure, sensuality, libido, sexuality and intimacy. It’s time for this conversation to happen and I invite you to come and play with me here. Whether you have cancer or not, your life has surely been touched by cancer ~ we all know someone with cancer. This is a big and wonderful conversation, so join in and please share this with anyone you think might benefit.  Here we go!

 

© 2014 Barbara Musser and Sexy After Cancer. Please feel free to share this content and include proper attribution.

 

 

More on the Itty Bitty Clitty and Breast Cancer

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Satrudays, breast cancer, breast cancer and sexual health, intimacy and breast cacncer

 

 

Following on the thread started last week about Cliteracy and the possibilities for women to experience more intimate and sexual pleasure through their clitoris, here are some additional facts and thoughts ~

  • All babies have the same genital tissue when they are conceived. It’s after about 12 weeks of gestation that the differentiation into a penis or labia begins. The clitoris and the penis are the same materials assembled differently, and the differentiation begins as a result of hormonal flows. The book The Female Brain by Luanne Brizendine contains some great information about how this development begins and the different phases of development for males and females.
  • The clitoris has all the parts a penis has ~ a glans, a foreskin (also known as the hood), erectile tissue and a small shaft. And the clitoris swells when aroused and becomes engorged. You know that sensation of tightness and swollenness? That’s all the erectile tissue of the clitoral system becoming engorged.
  • The only purpose of the clitoris is pleasure. It has nothing to do with reproduction. Pleasure only, and it is the only part of the body with this sole function.
  • Only about one fourth of the clitoris is visible outside the body, and the rest is inside. In addition to the clitoral head (also known as the itty bitty clitty), the hood and the shaft, the clitoris is composed of the urethral sponge, erectile tissue, glands, vestibular bulbs and the clitoral legs. Altogether this is called the clitoral system and some experts believe that the G Spot is also part of the clitoris.
  • There are different kinds of orgasms and a clitoral orgasm is the easiest for most women to achieve. Most women are not able to achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Women who know this and know their clitoris can communicate what feels good to their partner and enhance their pleasure.
  • Clitoral stimulation and pleasure varies with each woman. Some prefer soft and gentle touch and others prefer a lot of pressure. What feels good also changes during the arousal cycle. Don’t assume that you know what it takes and that it will be the same every time. Take your time to explore and get to know your unique clitoris. You can even map areas that are more responsive than others, and when during the arousal cycle. If you take the time to explore yourself alone, you’ll have a much better time educating and guiding your lover.
  • The word clitoris is from the Greek word for “key.” As you explore and begin to understand this extraordinary source of pleasure, you may find that it is a key to unlocking your pleasure possibilities.
  • Take your time to explore the entire clitoral system and ways to stimulate it. You’ll be very glad you did!

I urge you to explore and include the clitoris in your personal pleasure plan. With attention and focus you will learn what brings you pleasure and this can be a wonderful addition or alternative to penetrative genital sex play.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.