January 16, 2018

Make Love to Your Skin!

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Many things change in unexpected ways when cancer is in your story, including your skin. It’s time to take the next step into loving yourself and creating deeper intimacy and love, and it begins with loving your skin. Stan in front of the mirror, looking into your eyes, knowing that you are your lover for life. Say, “I love you” as you look into your eyes. Then begin to gently stroke your face, exploring your skin and what feels good and brings you pleasure. You have lots of nerve endings in your fingertips and in your skin, so get curious and get to know your skin. As you touch your face, notice what feels good and what doesn’t. What type of touch brings you the most pleasure? Is it strokes as light and soft and butterfly wings, light raking with your fingernails, firmer touch, little taps, or something else? Experiment and get to know yourself now. Check out the video below for some ideas, and please feel free to share what you discover. Wishing you a Sexy Saturday!

 

I love your comments and feedback, so please let me know if this tool is useful for you.

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

 

Step One ~ Find Your Life Force Energy

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Dear Ones,

Your life force energy is the key to reclaiming your intimate and sexual life after cancer has come in. Do you know what it is and how to find it and tune in to the power of it? It’s an internal flame inside that is always there, but sometimes we think we’ve lost it. Watch this video to learn a quick and powerful way to find and tune in to your life force energy.

 

I love your comments and feedback, so please let me know if this tool is useful for you.

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Breast Cancer, Intimacy and Sexuality ~ Where it Begins

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Let’s begin at the beginning. When you have cancer in your life, it has an impact on your intimate and sexual life. Things aren’t the same, your body may not look the same, it may function differently, and you may not know what to do about it in the areas of intimacy and sexuality. The good news is that you can reclaim your mojo.

Check out this video, which begins with the foundation. In the next several weeks, come back for the next steps… you’ll be glad you did!

As always, I love your comments and questions. Feel free to add them below!

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Cancer and Energetic Sex

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

 

If you haven’t heard of energetic sex, it’s not what you may be thinking! It’s not about acrobatics and feeling like a pretzel, although you may feel quite softened by the experience as well as energized. Energetic sex is about knowing that we have a larger energy body that includes out physical body, and is much more than that. It’s subtle and worth exploring. This video talks about a way to have energetic sex. This is a great practice, especially if you experience physical challenges as a result of cancer treatments, are in treatment or have other physical challenges. There’s no reason to stop intimate and erotic pleasure, and this is a fabulous way to continue to enjoy your sexual life.

 

 

I urge you to experiment with this practice and share your experiences. We all learn from each other on this journey!

 

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer

Faces of Inspiration

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, Sexy After Cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and libido, breast cancer and sexual pleasure

A new book has just been published by American Breast Care and Breast Cancer Wellness magazine. It’s called Faces of Inspiration. It’s filled with stories about faith, hope, courage, support, strength, inner beauty, joy, love and transformation. I contributed and essay called The Heart of the Matter.

Here’s a link to an online sample of the book along with a link to purchase it. Have a look at consider purchasing a copy for yourself or to give as a gift.

http://www.americanbreastcare.com/FB_book/fibook.html#book5/page1

Faces-of-Inspiration Each of us is an inspiration, often in ways we don’t even know about. How many times has someone told you that you have made a difference in his or her life? I encourage you to begin to practice random acts of kindness and love for others and for yourself. Offer a compliment when you are standing in a line ~ tell that person that they have a beautiful smile or that their eyes sparkle. When you begin to look for what inspires and touches you, you will see more and more of it. It’s all around us all the time, if we only look.

Keep an Inspiration Journal ~ dedicate a journal to inspiration and fill it with quotes, stories, ideas, photos, whatever inspires you to experience happiness, joy, love or peace. Make a point to add something to it every day. Then when you need some inspiration, page through this journal and feel how it uplifts you. It can be that easy to shift your mood.

Here’s another reason to experiment with this practice ~ it creates intimacy. When we take the time to connect with someone and offer some words of kindness from our heart to theirs, it’s intimate. We all want to feel seen and loved. Offering a few words of inspiration and gratitude goes a long way to creating more love. The more you do it, the more it builds. It’s the same as the principle of compounding interest ~ when you put a little bit of money into savings on a regular basis, over time it grows and compounds and in the long run, can become a large sum. Let love, inspiration and intimacy compound and you will reap the benefits, as will all those around you.

This is a practice I’ve been doing for several months ~

Each day, I think of someone I love and appreciate. Then I call them or see them and ask if I can give them some love and appreciation. When they say yes, I look into their eyes or think about them if I’m not physically with them. I bring my awareness into my heart and how it feels about them. Then I let the words flow straight from my heart, showering them with all the ways they have touched my heart, inspired me, taught me, loved me, moved me and so on. Without editing or judging my words, I simply let them flow. It feels fabulous to open the flow of my love for them, and they love receiving it. Within a few minutes we are both uplifted. I invite you to do this practice and see what happens. You will be inspired and become an inspiration.

 

© 2014 Barbara Musser and Sexy After Cancer. Please feel free to share this content and include proper attribution.

Sexy Saturdays Swan Song

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, Sexy After Cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and libido, breast cancer and sexual pleasure

 

 

Sexy Saturdays, Sexy After Cancer, Barbara Musser, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and libido, breast cancer and sexual pleasure

 

My Dear Friends,

It’s been almost 2 years since the birth of the Sexy Saturdays blog, nearly 100 posts. I hope that you’ve found value, inspiration and hope in these columns. It’s time that you know how beautiful, desirable and sexy you are! My passion for your joy and pleasure is endless and you have inspired me to explore new possibilities. Of course I have tested every tip and tool to make sure it works ~ I am one grateful, happy, satisfied and awake sexual woman!

TPF is maturing and becoming more focused on their mission of providing financial support and education for those in active breast cancer treatment. This clarity of focus will reflect in the focus of blogs that appear on the site and the focus is more on the financial aspects of the breast cancer experience than on intimacy and sexual health. Sexy Saturdays™ is moving to a new home. This blog will continue on my website www.sexyaftercancer.com/blog. Please click through now to see my inaugural video blog and a bit about the new vision I have.

I hope that you will make the move with me to Sexy After Cancer and continue to read and follow my chronicles for pleasure, intimacy and sexual health. The new video blogs are yet another format to entice you and enhance your pleasure.

It’s been a great adventure writing this blog! There is so much that I have learned and want to share in this emerging conversation about breast cancer and sexual health and intimacy! I also blog for ~

Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine (http://www.breastcancerwellness.org/category/inspire/)

Women’s Survivors Alliance online magazine (http://theplum.org/category/between-the-ears/sex-you-bet/)

Breast Cancer Answers (http://www.breastcanceranswers.com/nurture-sexuality/#.U7xGHqiZ440).

The conversation about breast cancer, intimacy, sexual health, body image and relationships is timely and needed. I’m passionate about providing resources and since I’ve been on this journey personally for 25 years, I understand it.

If you’d like to get in touch with me, work with me, book me for a speaking engagement, or attend a retreat, here’s how ~

Lots of ways to stay connected. I hope you will. There are many different phases to the breast cancer journey and each brings its own joys, challenges and growth opportunities. My belief is that how we feel about ourselves and come into and nourish our inner and outer integrity shapes our journey and experiences. Here’s to you and knowing that you are beautiful, desirable, sexy and that with the ingredients, you can create a happy and satisfying intimate and sexual life after breast cancer.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

More on the Itty Bitty Clitty and Breast Cancer

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Satrudays, breast cancer, breast cancer and sexual health, intimacy and breast cacncer

 

 

Following on the thread started last week about Cliteracy and the possibilities for women to experience more intimate and sexual pleasure through their clitoris, here are some additional facts and thoughts ~

  • All babies have the same genital tissue when they are conceived. It’s after about 12 weeks of gestation that the differentiation into a penis or labia begins. The clitoris and the penis are the same materials assembled differently, and the differentiation begins as a result of hormonal flows. The book The Female Brain by Luanne Brizendine contains some great information about how this development begins and the different phases of development for males and females.
  • The clitoris has all the parts a penis has ~ a glans, a foreskin (also known as the hood), erectile tissue and a small shaft. And the clitoris swells when aroused and becomes engorged. You know that sensation of tightness and swollenness? That’s all the erectile tissue of the clitoral system becoming engorged.
  • The only purpose of the clitoris is pleasure. It has nothing to do with reproduction. Pleasure only, and it is the only part of the body with this sole function.
  • Only about one fourth of the clitoris is visible outside the body, and the rest is inside. In addition to the clitoral head (also known as the itty bitty clitty), the hood and the shaft, the clitoris is composed of the urethral sponge, erectile tissue, glands, vestibular bulbs and the clitoral legs. Altogether this is called the clitoral system and some experts believe that the G Spot is also part of the clitoris.
  • There are different kinds of orgasms and a clitoral orgasm is the easiest for most women to achieve. Most women are not able to achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Women who know this and know their clitoris can communicate what feels good to their partner and enhance their pleasure.
  • Clitoral stimulation and pleasure varies with each woman. Some prefer soft and gentle touch and others prefer a lot of pressure. What feels good also changes during the arousal cycle. Don’t assume that you know what it takes and that it will be the same every time. Take your time to explore and get to know your unique clitoris. You can even map areas that are more responsive than others, and when during the arousal cycle. If you take the time to explore yourself alone, you’ll have a much better time educating and guiding your lover.
  • The word clitoris is from the Greek word for “key.” As you explore and begin to understand this extraordinary source of pleasure, you may find that it is a key to unlocking your pleasure possibilities.
  • Take your time to explore the entire clitoral system and ways to stimulate it. You’ll be very glad you did!

I urge you to explore and include the clitoris in your personal pleasure plan. With attention and focus you will learn what brings you pleasure and this can be a wonderful addition or alternative to penetrative genital sex play.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

The “C” Word ~ No, Not Cancer!

Barbara Musser, Sexy AFter Cancer, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, breast cancer and sexuality, breast cancer and sexual health, breast cancer and intimacy, sex and cancer

 

 

The “C” word stands for a lot of things ~ cancer, communication and in the realm of intimacy and sexuality, it stands for cunt, cunnilingus and clitoris, to name a few. This and the next post will focus on the clitoris, which deserves attention and enlightenment.  Once breast cancer is in our life story, the impact on our intimate and sexual lives is profound and many women grieve the changes to their sex life. Many think that there’s little point in attempting to be sexual, especially if sex wasn’t all that great before diagnosis and treatment. This is the reason for my work, research and teaching. I aim to provide the ingredients for a happy and healthy intimate and sexual life after diagnosis.

The clitoris can be part of our intimate and sex play and doesn’t seem to be as affected by treatments as other areas of our genitals. This is great news! And there isn’t much information available about this. There is so much to know about this amazing body part, and my purpose is to educate, inspire and shed light on some new possibilities for pleasure. I hope that after reading this you will include the clitoris in your personal pleasure plan.

There is an art exhibition going on currently in New York called “Cliteracy”, and the artist is Sophia Wallace. It’s a mixed media project designed to “expose the irony of society’s obsession and ignorance of female sexuality.  Cliteracy, 100 Natural Laws (2012) includes a monumental wall of texts which challenge phallocentric biases in science, law, philosophy, politics and the art world. Wallace’s focus on the clitoris and female pleasure serves to question and counteract the history of misinformation regarding women’s bodies and the concomitant oppression therein.”

Here are some inspiring clitoral facts and thoughts. Let’s begin with a statement from the artist Sophia Wallace: “The clitoris is not a button, it’s an iceberg.” Some of these ideas also come from my colleague Pamela Madsen who is also a sex educator.

  • If you want to address the clitoris, labia and vagina together, vulva is the all-encompassing term. Not Volvo, vulva, even though it may have many miles on its odometer. J
  • 50-75% of women who have orgasms need to have their clitoris touched (clitoral stimulation). Experiencing orgasms through clitoral stimulation is a great way to experience pleasure if your vaginal tissue has any atrophy.
  • The clitoris is only partially visible to the eye. The entire clitoris is close to four inches in length (similar to the average non-erect penis), but three fourths of its is hidden from view within a female’s body. It’s buried treasure. Think of all the pleasure potential in the entire region. Have you explored it?
  • The clitoris grows throughout a woman’s life. It can become 2.5 times larger after menopause than it was when the woman was a teenager. This is great news for those of us who have experienced instant menopause as a result of breast cancer treatments. This is not to say that pleasure depends on the size of the clitoris; however it contains 8,000 nerve endings, which are deliciously sensitive. By the way, this is twice the number of nerve endings in the glans of a penis. Lucky us!

More to come in the next blog… in the meantime please feel free to ask any questions you have or share any facts you may know. We are all teachers for each other.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

A Sexy Summer Solstice Ritual

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexuality, sexual healing after breast cancer

 

 

 

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexual health, intimacy and sexuality and cancer, breast cancer and eroticism, breast cancer and self love

Today is the Summer Solstice ~ the day with the longest hours of daylight in the year. There are celebrations of many types happening around the world to celebrate the change in the seasons. Summer officially begins today.

I suggest a Sexy Summer Solstice Ritual for you to celebrate you as a sexy and desirable woman. It all begins with your beliefs about yourself, and what better time to explore and create some powerful and positive beliefs about yourself? Here are some ideas to inspire you to create your own special ceremony or ritual ~

  • Prepare some supplies for your ceremony. A blanket, some fresh flowers or flower petals, a sacred object that reminds you of intimacy and sensuality, some sensual poetry or other writing, your journal, some music, a pillow to sit on, anything else that intuitively feels right to you to bring along.
  • Pick a beautiful place in nature that feels beautiful and sensual to you ~ a glad in a park, a rose garden, a secluded swimming hole, whatever appeals to you.
  • Take your supplies to your place and create a sacred space for your ritual ~ lay out the blanket and other items you have brought as if you are creating an outdoor altar to honor a sacred goddess. You are and it’s you!
  • Relax in your sacred space and invite any unseen beings to join you for the ritual ~ angels, guides, teachers, ancestors, goddesses or other deities, fairies, whatever and whoever pops into your mind.
  • Sit in the center of the sacred space and feel what it feels like to be in a beautiful sanctuary created to honor you and your sensuality. Breathe and drink in all the sensations of the experience.
  • Gently close your eyes and meditate or contemplate your beauty and desirability as a sensual and sexual woman. Ask for visions, thoughts or wisdom to inspire you in this and wait for what comes. You might have feelings, thoughts, images or other sensations. Drink it all in and know that what you are receiving is just right for you.
  • Write down any inspirations or ideas in your journal so that you can remember these gifts. If you brought something to read, read it and let it inspire you further.
  • Write down some thoughts about beauty, sensuality and sexuality ~ simply begin writing and let the words flow onto the page without editing or even thinking about what’s coming out. Just let it flow.
  • Close your eyes again and create a vision of yourself as a beautiful, sensual, sexual woman ~ who is content, satisfied and happy with life and love. Write the vision in your journal and if there is an image, draw it in your journal. This is your inner wisdom guiding you.
  • Spend as much time in your sanctuary as feels right to you. When you feel complete with the ritual, thank all the beings who have been here with you, thank your inner wise woman and thank the beauty of nature that surrounds you. Slowly and mindfully pack up your things and know that you can return here any time you wish, whether in person or in your thoughts.
  • Allow this special time to nourish those deepest places in you that are thirsty for beauty, sensuality and love. Know that you are beautiful, lovable, desirable and sensual.

If you are moved to share anything about your ritual with us, please do as a way of honoring yourself and of sharing your gifts with others so that we can all benefit.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

25 Years of Great Sexual Health After Breast Cancer!

Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, breast cancer and sexuality, sex after breast cancer, breast cancer and intimacy

 

 

Sexy After Cancer, Barbara Musser, breast cancer, breast cancer and sexuality, intimacy and breast cancer, cancer and sexual health, sexy saturdays

This week was my 25 year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis ~ my Silver Jubilee! I’ve been reflecting on the journey, especially my intimate and sexual journey. It’s been quite and adventure with lots of twists and turns, ups and downs, and I’d like to share some of the things I’ve learned along the way ~

  • The resources, strength and courage are all inside and it’s a matter of exploring the inner realms to bring them to the surface and integrate them. This is an ongoing exploration because as time passes things continue to evolve and grow. Courage begets courage; vulnerability enhances the capacity for more vulnerability.
  • It’s not a straight line to the destination, but it’s about enjoying and learning form the journey. A sense of curiosity, humor and creativity smooth the bumps, which continue to be in the path.
  • Feminine grace is innate and has nothing to do with physical appearance or age. We are all born with this and life covers it up. Being quiet and still and calling it forth, reveals it, then it can be tended like a beautiful flower in the garden of you.
  • Cancer can open portals into completely new experiences of intimacy, sensuality and sexuality. There are many more possibilities beyond penetrative genital sex and fluid exchange that are fun, pleasurable and orgasmic.
  • Defining beauty and sexiness on my terms, rather than the cultural mores, is liberating and empowering and magnetically attractive.
  • Open and honest communication about desires, needs and pleasure is highly intimate and erotic.
  • Trusting my wisdom, heart and body brings me into alignment and integrity inside and out and that is sexy.
  • I have a more satisfying and nourishing intimate and sexual life than I ever dreamed of before my cancer diagnosis.

My wish for you is that you know how beautiful, desirable, sensual and sexy you can be and that you join me on this journey of discovery. I have created a new online course called “You Are So Beautiful” to help you on this journey. Here’s a link to learn more about it ~ https://www.sexyaftercancer.com/you-are-so-beautiful-course/. I hope you give yourself this gift!

Here’s to you, Beauty.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.