January 16, 2018

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

Astrologically we are in a period of lots of action ~ eclipses, full moon, the equinox and Mercury retrograde, to name a few. During the season of eclipses, things can change in big ways, rapidly. If you knew you could wave a magic wand and change something big about your heart and your capacity to love, what would you change? How can you love you more? How can  you bring more love to the world?

Our experience of love blossoms from our love relationship with ourselves. How do you love you? Are you madly in love with you? Do you have a crush on you? Do you know how gorgeous and lovable you are? If  you aren’t having these experiences, what would it take for you to have them? Maybe, just maybe, it starts with deciding that you do. And then acting as if it’s true. Don’t believe me? I invite you to try it on and see what happens. Let your heart shift completely in the eclipse! And here’s a poem to inspire you.
“And You Shall Love”

do you love yourself?

yes, but
do you love yourself?
not like a poor relation, with an
effort to be kind.  being good about it.

do you love yourself
like the most hopeless crush you ever had?
the day you wrote his initials
all over your notebook:
mr. and mrs.  glowingly divine?

do you love yourself like
Rumi loved his God?
do you love yourself stumbling
and giddy, burbling visions of wine-drunk
spiritual ecstasies?

do you love yourself
so hard it hurts to breathe,
so true the very thought of losing you
makes you ache and cry?

do you love yourself
with dirty fingernails
and all you’ve got,
hanging on, for dear life?

do you love yourself as you rise up,
as you lie down, and as you go about your way?

would you die,
if you didn’t have you?

have you woken, yet,
from that awful dream,
the recursive bargain of self-hate
you made to stay alive?
is this the deal-breaker?

the angel abides
until one day
your will abides no more:
from out of nowhere you could name
the unleashed heart of fire ascends
and you are joined.

as full of scars
as grace.

“beloved”
a voice is heard;
the voice is yours.

(this time it is the angel’s turn
to laugh; even God’s hidden name
prances and smiles)

Dvorah Simon

 

© 2015 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog reflects my personal opinions. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

My Friend Stacy

Baebara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays blog, cancer and sexuality, sancer and sexual health, breast cancer, cancer and intimacy, sex after cancer diagnosis,

 

 

Stacy died on Easter Sunday, 42 years old, leaving a beautiful 2 year-old daughter and beloved husband, along with a very large circle of friends and family. Even when we know it’s coming we’re never ready for death. Even though we know it’s in the cards for each of us, we somehow don’t acknowledge it. When cancer is part of our story, we are often more aware of the fragility and preciousness of life.

I’d like to share a story of how Stacy lived her life fully, before and during her cancer adventures. Although born into privilege and wealth, Stacy didn’t flaunt it. She wore jeans, attended and gave garage sales, yearned for love and happiness. If anything she knew that wealth doesn’t guarantee happiness or love. She had lots of “fristers”, friends who were her chosen sisters. I was one and it was fun ~ we were in a women’s group together, attended personal growth workshops, created lists of our perfect partners and lamented our imperfect bodies.

A little over three years ago, Stacy realized that she really wanted to have a baby. She wasn’t in a relationship and her biological clock was ticking.  Undaunted by these circumstances, she made a commitment to herself that she would be pregnant by the end of that year, 2010. She didn’t have a plan but she had a beautiful vision and a lot of passion for her vision.

Months passed and she kissed many “frogs” in search of her prince. I introduced her to some men who I thought worthy of her. No lasting connection was made. Then, miraculously, she and a wonderful man realized that there was something very special growing in their hearts. They were a perfect match ~ the same quirky sense of humor and irony; very playful; loved to laugh; and both wanting to be parents.

By the end of December she was pregnant! Her daughter was born in September and the world laughed and celebrated her arrival with delight. Stacy’s dreams had all come true. Love, family and a very happy life were hers.

Last summer she was diagnosed with cancer. Ten months later she died after watching the sunrise and hearing and seeing the sights and sounds of a beautiful spring morning, Easter Sunday. She is risen.

To my dear friend Stacy, with love.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.