July 27, 2017

Earthquakes, Cancer, Intimacy and Sexuality

Barbara Musser, Sexy Saturdays, breast cancer, intimacy after breast cancer, breast cancer and sensuality, cancer and sex

We had a major earthquake in Northern California last Sunday morning ~ things were shaking and rolling at 3:20 AM. 20 miles from the epicenter I was jolted awake, and immediately started to receive texts from family and friends around the country. In an instant, everything changed for a lot of people as homes were severely damaged, treasures were broken and gas and water mains broke. I spent a day restoring a friend’s home while he is away, so that when he returns he has a habitable nest. What we don’t know about is unseen structural damage that may reveal itself.

As we worked to repair the damage and restore order, I found myself thinking about the earthquake of cancer. Diagnosis often comes as a sudden shock, then comes the work of navigating treatment choices and finding balance points in life. There is often structural damage, damage to the structure of emotions, thoughts and the quality of life, including intimate and sexual function. Many cancer treatments wreak havoc with sex and intimacy.

This damage to life isn’t always immediately apparent. When I talk with women, many say that their sex life wasn’t so great before diagnosis and treatment, so it hardly seems worth any effort. This is heart-wrenching because our sexual energy and intimate life is a big part of our life force energy.

This opens a door into a deeper exploration of the nature of intimacy and sexuality. Most of us are taught that sex is about inserting a body part into another body part, exchanging fluids and having an orgasm, or giving our partner an orgasm ~ this is physical intercourse. That is one aspect of sexuality, and it’s a much larger universe of possibility than this.

What if you knew other ways to create deep intimacy, that experience of being fully seen, accepted, loved and fulfilled? What if you could experience that orgasmic energy in your heart or your soul? Can you imagine what it might be like if your entire self is filled with erotic and erogenous pleasure zones? Imagine that cancer becomes an opportunity to explore many other facets of pleasure, bliss and life force energy.

When our bodies function differently, the invitation is to get curious and explore the nature of love, intimacy and sexuality. Rather than be frustrated by the earthquake of a cancer diagnosis, perhaps it can be a portal to a new paradigm of what’s possible. As cancer shifts your tectonic plates, what can you imagine?

These are the questions that are explored here. Please share what you’ve discovered and come back to learn new ways of exploring the terrain of cancer, intimacy and sex. Just as my friend’s home is habitable and changed, it’s possible to enter into a new paradigm of pleasure after cancer has come into the picture.

© 2014 Barbara Musser Sexy After Cancer

 

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