March 21, 2018

What is Eroticism?


Here’s a provocative thought from Audre Lorde:  “We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.”

With this context, eroticism invites us to deliberately seek pleasure in an exotic land that emerges through the synergy between you and your partner before, during and after lovemaking. Lovemaking may not mean the same thing to you now as it did before your cancer diagnosis. In my view, this is an extraordinary opportunity to explore intimacy, sexuality and the erotic anew.

Begin your exploration with a conscious commitment to venture into this new unknown with your loved one, trusting your hearts and souls to be your guide. When trust and vulnerability are the foundations of intimacy and sex, you and your partner can resonate as one, creating a mystical third, we. Stay open and fluid and watch your erotic connection take you where it will as it deepens and takes different forms as you explore and grow together.

An important part of aspiring to eroticism means challenging your limiting beliefs about your life force energy, about your perceived inadequacies, about the courage it takes to begin in intimate, erotic sexual journey as you are NOW, changed by cancer. Be a gentle and tender warrior as you venture into the erotic landscape of your lover’s body to learn about yourselves and your erogenous zones together. Give up control and serve each other as you invite contact with the depths of your life force energy.  Use all your senses ~ sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing ~ as you explore, and you may discover new delights and treasures as you journey together. Have no expectations, make no assumptions, and let the mood, inspiration and movement of the moment guide you in this new territory.

What are you discovering about yourself, about your beloved, about the mystical third, the we of you? When you allow this kind of exploration with no agenda, no constraints and the intention only to flow with your life force energy, what happens for you?  Happy voyaging!

From January 14-25 I hosted the Go Forth and Thrive After Cancer telesummit. Each day there were 2 interviews with experts on various aspects of what it takes to thrive and evolve after cancer comes into your life. I talked with people like Marianne Williamson, the NY Times best selling author and mystic; our own Molly MacDonald about TPF; Emmett Miller, the father of body-mind medicine and guided imagery, and many more. It’s free and you can listen to the recordings until the end of February. To listen in, click here to register:

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

Speak Your Mind