September 25, 2017

Pillow Talk

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We share much more than skin in bed. We also share our truth, our hopes and fears, our dreams and our love. Lighthearted and tender pillow talk complements eroticism, intimacy and sexuality. Pillow talk is a very gentle, honest and affectionate way of relating, which may include cuddling, cooing, caresses and even baby talk. It’s a subtle aspect of adult play. When sweethearts and lovers feel completely open and free, basking in each others’ presence with appreciation and adoration, they often revert to a childlike innocent state.

Before they learn to talk, children murmur and babble and it’s a vulnerable and important stage of development. Babbling is a sign that they feel safe and trusting. Through safety and trust, children take the emotional opportunity to grow because babbling develops the vocal muscles that enable language to develop. Similarly with adults, pillow talk builds our relational vocabulary and language skills necessary for deeper and more meaningful conversations with our partner.

Pillow talk fosters couple consciousness, which involves the individual consciousness of each person as well as the collective consciousness of the relationship as a third entity. The more we invite pillow talk through shared trust and appreciation, the more our relationship nurtures and grows its own meaningful and distinctive language. The bond of this tender and authentic language is deeply fulfilling to lovers.

Pillow talk is sacred and relaxed, and these moments of heartfelt connection are moments of grace. Try this:

  • Take a moment and focus on your body language and emotional energy and tune in to whether you are inviting and receptive or negative and dismissive. The way to build trust with your partner to engage in pillow talk is through appreciation and affection.
  • A beautiful way to open the door for pillow talk is to share some things that you appreciate about your partner.
  • Ask him or her to listen and receive your words as the gift of your truth ~ that’s what they really are.
  • Speaking words of appreciation feels good to you as you speak them, and your partner will light up with the experience of being seen and loved.
  • Experiment with this practice and see what unfolds, not only in your pillow talk time, but also in the rest of your life.
  • As you look through the eyes of appreciation, you will see more and more to appreciate.

My partner and I share our words of appreciation every night before we fall asleep, whether we are physically together or not. When one of us is away, this powerful time to connect helps us to feel the depth of our connection and love and it’s a beautiful way to end the day and venture into the land of dreams. Try it and let me know how it goes for you.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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