April 26, 2018

Lights, Camera, Action!


The director calls, “Action!” when the stage is set and it’s time to act out the perfect scene. The most important aspect to intimacy and sexuality is to take action, even if it’s a baby step. Waiting for things to be just right or until you feel just right, is a zero sum game. No one action is better than any other, that’s your choice. Taking action amplifies your life force energy and intimacy and sexuality are some of the biggest aspects of this energy. You must be discerning about what you want and what you want to achieve in your intimate and sexual life and action is required. You know that old adage, “Use it or lose it.” This is so true in these parts of life. Lots of women take a break from intimacy and sexuality during cancer treatment, and then it seems impossible to get going again, or your may think it’s not worth the effort. You may have some unexpressed grief about your body, your femininity and your desirability.

I promise that if you take action, this will help you to heal where you need healing and that more of life’s possibilities will appear. It’s counter-intuitive, and it’s true. Action begets movement, clarity and hope.

When I talk about intimacy and sexuality, possibilities are not limited to your genitals. You can transmit your intimacy and desire through the look in your eye or the tone of your voice, or how you dress or what meal you prepare. It’s really all about your intention. If your intention is to create intimacy, closeness and eroticism, it’s all about letting your heart and your love lead the way. There are many ways to show that you care and are interested, and often that’s all it takes to begin to see and feel the sparks of desire. The combination of words and actions let our partners know that we care about them, just as their words and actions do for you. By the way, this applies whether you are single or in a relationship. Indeed, it all begins with your relationship with you, so that’s a great place to begin!

If you’re not happy with the current state of your intimate and sexual life, take an action, just one to begin. Be honest about things and then go from there. It’s easy on the cancer journey to fall into the victim or hopeless trap. The way out is to decide to change it and take action. Don’t frighten yourself if it feels like you have a mountain to climb. It all begins with the first step. I encourage you to contemplate what you want in terms of intimacy and sexuality, ask your intuition or inner wisdom for an action to take in service of your desire, and take that step. Be gentle, be patient, keep your sense of humor, and take a step. You may be surprised about what happens and how you feel.

Here’s an example ~ I was waiting for my partner to initiate intimacy with me. I waited a long time and began to feel hopeless about things. Then I got the idea to put a flirtatious note in the bag with his breakfast as I sent him off to work one morning. He came home that night and met me with a passionate kiss ~ I felt like a queen! I continue to put notes in his breakfast, and he recently told me that he has saved every one because they mean so much to him. I love doing it and he loves receiving them, and this small practice has opened the door to intimacy wide.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

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