July 28, 2017

Integration

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Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Integrating Body and Heart after breast cancer, breast cancer and sexuality

In the exploration of what intimacy and sexuality mean now in your life on the cancer journey, it’s worth taking a look at what integration can be. With all the other impacts of breast cancer, your experience of intimacy and sexuality may be very different now. Perhaps not; however, 80-90% of women experience “difficulties” in these areas. In my research and work with many women with breast cancer, intimacy and sexuality can be tender topics. Lots of women report that their sex life wasn’t so great prior to their diagnosis and treatment, and it hardly seems worth the effort it would take to rev it back up again.

Hearing things like this makes me feel sad. Our sexual energy is our life force energy and thus is a very vital part of who we are. Our life force energy flows in many ways and there are lots of ways to integrate it. A useful approach is to first expand your definitions of intimacy and sexuality, to include more of you than your genitals, insertion and fluid exchange. There are many posts about this in previous Sexy Saturdays, so feel free to find lots of ideas and suggestions.

Here is a gentle practice designed to help you with the integration of your thoughts, your heart and your sexuality. Read through it, then guide yourself through it in whatever way feels right to you.

Arrange time and freedom from distractions so that you can fully relax and go deeply into this practice. You can do this in your bedroom or another place where you can comfortably lie down and relax. Have some flowers, candles, incense if you like it and soft background music. You can do this practice with our without wearing clothing, whichever is more comfortable to you. Make this a sacred time for you to honor and integrate your heart, mind and body for a deeper and more satisfying experience of your intimacy and sexuality.

Lie down on your back and take several full deep breaths to allow your body to relax and to draw you awareness inward. As you breathe, extend the length of each inhalation, then suspend the breath for a few moments, neither breathing in nor out. Then slowly exhale, allowing your lungs to empty. Suspend the breath for a few moments, neither breathing in nor out. With each breath, inhale relaxation, love and integration, and exhale any thoughts that distract you. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Continue breathing and gently place one hand on your forehead and the other on your heart. Feel the warmth and weight of your hands and continue to breathe. Gently repeat these words, speaking out loud ~

  • May my thoughts about intimacy and sexuality be informed by my heart
  • May my thoughts about intimacy and sexuality be held with love in my heart

Repeat this phrase several times, and then move the hand on your heart so that it covers your genitals. Feel the warmth and weight of your hands and continue to breathe. Gently repeat these words, speaking out loud ~

  • May my thoughts about intimacy and sexuality always honor my sexual organs
  • May my intimate and sexual activities be infused with wisdom and truth

Continue breathing and move the hand on your forehead so that it covers your heart. Feel the warmth and weight of your hands and continue to breathe. Gently repeat these words out loud ~

  • May I always feel the connection of my heart and my love in my intimate and sexual times
  • May my intimacy and love making be infused with love

Continue breathing and repeating the words for as long as you wish. You may be inspired to speak other words as well. Trust your heart, wisdom and body to guide you about what will help you to integrate more fully.

When you feel complete, place your hands where they feel best, and take a few final deep breaths. This practice will gently help you to integrate your body, mind, heart and spirit to your personal truths about intimacy and sexuality.

As you experience this practice, we’d love to know about any visions, awareness or wisdom that you receive. Feel free to share this or any other experiences so that we can all benefit from your wisdom and experience.

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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