September 25, 2017

Give Yourself a Love Shower

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The past few posts here have been about using your mind to increase your love, acceptance and esteem for yourself more. What does this have to do with intimacy and sexuality? You’ve probably heard it said that the biggest sex organ is the brain. Our thoughts and beliefs provide the lens through which we view the world. In this sense, working with thoughts and beliefs is the master key to evolving our intimate and sexual lives.

The key to shifting our thoughts and beliefs is a combination of focus, commitment and repetition in our thoughts and actions. A great place to begin is to pay more attention to the thoughts that are always moving through your mind. It’s as if there’s a radio station playing 24/7 that is mostly critical and judgmental. Don’t know what I’m talking about? It’s the little voice that may be commenting right now, “What voice? I’m not critical, I just want what’s best for you.” And so on. When you begin to pay attention, you may be surprised at the amount of “trash” in your head! Once you become aware of it, then you can begin to change it.

One way to change this commentary is to do this practice:

  • Every time you catch yourself thinking a critical or judgmental thought, consciously choose a positive thought and say it to yourself
  • Saying the positive thought out loud helps because you will hear your own voice saying something loving and positive about you
  • Imagine that you are creating a new mental radio station, the love station. As you say more loving and kind things to yourself, the balance of your thoughts will change over time
  • Understand this this is a practice that has a cumulative effect, like adding to a savings account which grows over time

Here’s one of my favorite ways to accelerate this process ~ I give myself a Love Shower. There’s no soap or water involved. Here’s how:

  • Take a pad of Post-it notes and write a love message on each note in the pad
  • Put the love notes all around your home, office and car ~ on the bathroom mirror, inside the medicine cabinet, in kitchen cabinets and drawers, in your jewelry box or sock drawer
  • As you go through your day you’ll see lots of love messages. Let the love in the messages shower you with good feelings. You can say the message out loud when you see it
  • Each week, move the notes around and add new notes. This will keep them visible before you stop seeing them or ignoring them
  • For added fun and love, invite any family members to participate by writing and adding notes

Giving a Love Shower to a friend is a great gift. Write the notes before you go to their home, then put them up so they can also be showered with love.

Even if you don’t literally “see” the notes after a while, the messages still get into your subconscious mind and continue to shower you with love.

Happy showering!

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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