March 21, 2018

My Friend Stacy

Baebara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, Sexy Saturdays blog, cancer and sexuality, sancer and sexual health, breast cancer, cancer and intimacy, sex after cancer diagnosis,



Stacy died on Easter Sunday, 42 years old, leaving a beautiful 2 year-old daughter and beloved husband, along with a very large circle of friends and family. Even when we know it’s coming we’re never ready for death. Even though we know it’s in the cards for each of us, we somehow don’t acknowledge it. When cancer is part of our story, we are often more aware of the fragility and preciousness of life.

I’d like to share a story of how Stacy lived her life fully, before and during her cancer adventures. Although born into privilege and wealth, Stacy didn’t flaunt it. She wore jeans, attended and gave garage sales, yearned for love and happiness. If anything she knew that wealth doesn’t guarantee happiness or love. She had lots of “fristers”, friends who were her chosen sisters. I was one and it was fun ~ we were in a women’s group together, attended personal growth workshops, created lists of our perfect partners and lamented our imperfect bodies.

A little over three years ago, Stacy realized that she really wanted to have a baby. She wasn’t in a relationship and her biological clock was ticking.  Undaunted by these circumstances, she made a commitment to herself that she would be pregnant by the end of that year, 2010. She didn’t have a plan but she had a beautiful vision and a lot of passion for her vision.

Months passed and she kissed many “frogs” in search of her prince. I introduced her to some men who I thought worthy of her. No lasting connection was made. Then, miraculously, she and a wonderful man realized that there was something very special growing in their hearts. They were a perfect match ~ the same quirky sense of humor and irony; very playful; loved to laugh; and both wanting to be parents.

By the end of December she was pregnant! Her daughter was born in September and the world laughed and celebrated her arrival with delight. Stacy’s dreams had all come true. Love, family and a very happy life were hers.

Last summer she was diagnosed with cancer. Ten months later she died after watching the sunrise and hearing and seeing the sights and sounds of a beautiful spring morning, Easter Sunday. She is risen.

To my dear friend Stacy, with love.

© 2014 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
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This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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