April 26, 2018

Fantasies and Erotica


Now that you know that your brain is your biggest sex organ, let’s talk about a fun way to exercise it by creating fantasies. The definition of fantasy is “the forming of mental images; imaginative conceptualizing” (dictionary.com).  As you used your brain to imagine sucking on a lemon, use it now to create some erotic or sexual fantasies.  Fantasy comes from relaxing and letting your mind wander.

You can make this a practice by setting aside some time each week to allow yourself to fantasize. The key is to know that it’s not only okay, but also fun and very healing to use your mind in this way. Think back to movies you’ve seen that caused a stirring inside you that may have felt sexual (remember that scene in “When Harry Met Sally”?), or to something your read or heard or daydreamed about. Then let yourself follow the thread and see where it leads.

Remember that this is not about taking any action on the images that you create. The point here is to use your brain to create pleasure. There are lots of areas to fantasize about. Here are a few to get you started:

  1. Sexual submission ~ many women imagine themselves being ravished and taken control of, as someone powerful has his way with you. Maybe you’re taken by surprise or blindfolded or restrained in some way.
  2. Voyeuristic Sex ~ you are either being watched while you’re having sex or you may be the one spying on someone else having sex. This might be with someone you know or a stranger and you may be afraid of being found out.
  3. Knight in Shining Armor ~ your perfect man courts you, seduces you and makes you feel everything you’ve ever desired. He pampers you, understands you and totally worships you. He makes all your dreams come true without you needing to ask.
  4. Being a “Bad” Girl ~ women who follow all the rules in daily life may want to let their inner bad girl out to play. Maybe you strip before a roomful of men, do a pole dance or have wind and casual sex. You do what you want with no apologies.
  5. Taking Control ~ this involves you taking charge. You could be a dominatrix leading a man to your secret place and making him into your sex slave. You might tie him up until he promises to obey your completely and then  you tell him exactly when, where and how to touch you.

Use your imagination to bring yourself pleasure. This is why romance novels are such a popular genre, and why the new series “Fifty Shades of Gray” has topped the bestseller list for months. We all have active imaginations, so this is your opportunity to have some fun. Some of my clients create fantasy journals where they write out their fantasies in detail, including who’s there, what they’re wearing, and what happens. They find that using their mind in this way helps to reconnect with intimacy and sexuality in ways that are safe, creative and inspiring. What’s your Sexy Saturday Fantasy? How can this spice up you New Year’s Eve?

© 2012 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.
For more resources, go to SexyAfterCancer.com

This blog does not reflect the opinions of TPF, its Founder, Board of Directors, Advisors or Volunteers. It is not meant to serve as medical advise of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer who voluntarily blogs for TPF without compensation.

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