March 21, 2018

Cozy Sensual Solstice Ritual


Sexy After Cancer, Barbara Musser, Sexy Solstice ritual, cancer and intimacy, breast cancer and sexuality

December 21 is the winter Solstice, the longest and darkest night of the year.  Here’s a way to turn the darkness into romance and stay warm and cuddly ~

Turn up the heat or light a fire if you have a fireplace, to make the room toasty. Warm some scented massage oil as well and gather some other supplies including a hand towel, some candles, sensual background music and incense if you like it, and have your slippers or a pair of warm socks nearby. Brew some tea or hot chocolate or make a hot toddy if you drink alcohol. Make a nest of pillows in front of the fire, or near a lighted candle. Put on the music, light the candles (I like to use lots of votive candles or tea lights), light the incense, and invite your sweetie into the nest. If you’re single, you can create this ritual just for you ~ after all, you are your life partner!

Begin by sitting close enough so that you can gaze into each other’s eyes. As you look into your sweetheart’s eyes, take some deep breaths to relax and connect with each other. Feel the connection of your eyes and your hearts as you continue to slow down your breathing. Lean forward and give him or her a kiss, tell them you love them and that you want to adore them with a hand and foot massage.

Begin with their hands. Put some of the warmed oil in your palms and rub your hands together to spread the oil around. Then take their hands in yours and simply hold their hands for a few moments. Then begin a gentle massage of their fingers, hands and wrists. Experiment with different pressures and types of stroking ~ try long strokes from wrist to fingertips, run your fingernails gently across their palms, gently pull on their fingers. Look into their eyes so that you can see their response and ask them what feels best to them. When you feel their hands and fingers relax fully, hold their hands in yours and then give them a gentle squeeze. Wipe off any excess oil with the hand towel. Gently kiss their hands and then place their hands on their lap.

Next, prepare to massage their feet. Remove their shoes and socks and oil your hands again. Then hold their feet in your hands. As with the hands, experiment with different pressure and stroking as you love their feet. Imagine that you are honoring and massaging the feet of a god or goddess, because you are. If you knew you were touching the feet of a god or goddess, how would you touch them? Massage, stroke and love their ankles, heels, soles, insteps, arches, balls of the feet, tops of the feet, toes and the spaces between the toes. Get creative and let their pleasure guide you.

When you are complete with the massage, wipe off any excess oil with the hand towel. Kiss their toes and feet and then put on clean socks or slippers.

If your sweetie is in the mood to return the favor, sit back, relax and receive their loving touch as they massage your hands and feet.

If you are giving yourself this gift of pleasure, massage one hand with the other, and then one foot at a time. Take your time and really love yourself up!


During these long winter nights, get creative with ways to love each other through your touch. Feel free to share with us so that we can be inspired by your pleasure!

© 2013 by Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer.

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This blog is not meant to serve as medical advice of any kind. Any questions about your health and sexuality should be directed to a licensed physician or therapist. Any opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

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